OnePhatMan
Week one yields a start with 1.5 pounds gone.
It’s funny. Though I’m only going to weigh myself officially once a week, I’ve been weighing every day just to see how things would be during this first week. After last junk food Friday, I jumped up 4 pounds on Saturday, down 3 on Sunday, and down 2 more on Monday, taking me to 214. In other words, a one pound drop. Tuesday yielded no difference.
But Wednesday it got weird. It jumped up 1.5 pounds, to 215.5.
Which, of course, gives me an opportunity to make a point: don’t obsess over the scale. I knew beyond the shadow of any doubt that I didn’t really gain 1.5 pounds between Tuesday and Wednesday. I knew that it had to be water or, well, poop or something. But not fat, because your body simply can’t manufacture that much in a day.
So don’t freak out over a blip. Watch the trend, not the incident.
Thursday morning, .5 had gone, leaving me where I started at 215. While I wasn’t freaked out about the number, because I knew that I’d actually worked off some of the “real” weight, I’ll admit to being a little disappointed at the thought of having to post a 0 here today. The phat man wanted to come back with a bang, and was irked that a burp in water or poop weight was going to coincide with the official weigh-in.
Then I got up this morning and weighed 213.5.
See? Even I can get a little caught up on the number sometimes. Don’t. Get. Caught. Up. On. A. Blip.
Because blips are nothing, and life is everything.
I’m considering moving my mailing list to Google Groups. If you get an email indicating that you’ve been added to “OnePhatMan”, it’s just me. The mailing list is killing our server.
Site additions for today: recommended books on nutrition and the beginnings of a recipes section. Right now, the few recipes that are here are just things we regularly eat. If you have a recipe you’d like to share, by all means send it to me and I’ll try to get it added.
Two caveats:
When you talk to your pets (oh, quit denying it), how do you speak to them? What about your children? How do you speak to them? Your spouse? If you’re like most people—and I’m willing to bet that you are—you speak to your loved ones with love and adoration. You speak this way because you love them, and because you respect and cherish them.
Now let’s look at someone else in your life.
How do you speak to yourself when you’re looking in the mirror? Are you always critical, finding and judging every little flaw in your body? Do you beat yourself up because of your size or your weight? Do you spend your days putting yourself down, speaking harshly and even hatefully about yourself?
What about when you’re around other people? What do you say about yourself in front of them? Do you still speak critically, or are you a little more subtle with the putdowns, maybe working your own fat jokes in from time to time? I think we all know that no one can make a fat joke like a fat person.
Your loved ones know you’re not really joking.
If you do any of these things, don’t feel bad. I suspect you’re in the majority, along with the rest of us who are or were fat. I have some good news, though: You’re only doing it because you’ve agreed to do it. Sometime in your past, someone said something hateful about you, based on their own worldview, and you decided to believe them. You agreed (in your head) that it was true, whatever it was, and you started building your view of yourself as a “pig,” or a “fatass,” or a “cow,” or as a “food addict,” or as any number of negative and disrespectful things.
With the good news that your beliefs are just agreements, there’s even better news: You can change your beliefs, your view of yourself, simply by agreeing—by deciding—to. Start by being mindful of what you say about yourself. Quit calling yourself names, because all those names do is reinforce the negative belief you’ve held. If you catch yourself referring to yourself as something disrepectful (”I’m such a pig!”), stop where you are and forgive yourself. Let it go, and resolve not to do it again.
You have to learn to respect yourself and to value yourself as an individual before you can start to love yourself.
Is it instant? Of course not. Changing a lifetime of negative self-talk takes time. Even after more than five years of working at it, I still have moments when I think of myself as the fat worthless guy, especially when I’m in a new situation with lots of people I don’t know. I feel their eyes on me, feel their judgment of me because of my weight, despite the fact that I know logically that (a) they’re not, and (b) I’m not fat any more.
Maybe it’s just my good looks they can’t get over now.
I have to stop and have a little self-talk when it happens. I have to remind myself that all they see is the perfectly normal (albeit large-headed) schlub that I am, not the Jabba the Hutt I still sometimes feel like. Changing takes time, but it happens, and each day it gets a little bit easier to either quash those thoughts or to not have them at all.
When you begin to respect yourself, to understand and acknowledge that you have value, you can begin to love yourself.
When you begin to love yourself, your transformation into the person you want to be becomes so much easier because you’re making changes because of you, not because of something someone said or because you think someone else wants you to.
And really, aren’t you the reason you should be doing this?
If you want to get notified when I write an update, this link will do the trick.
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A few years ago I used and held on to a gem of wisdom you shared and this reminds me of it. I used to hate myself (I’d even tell myself that I hated myself among all the other mean and nasty things I’d say to myself). You suggested repeating to myself that I love myself. The deal was that I didn’t even have to believe it going in, just think the words. I really think that practicing this little thought was one that helped me on the road out of my depression.
Well,Fred. I weigh in with you and I guess Friday will be weigh-in days. I lost 2 pounds. I was 230 when I stared mid-week and today was 228. I like your idea of weighing in once a week. Here’s to more loss next Friday! Thank you for getting me started!
great post Fred. Well done on the weight loss, those scales can play with our mind for sure. Like everything in this journey it is only a guide….an apple has a certain amount of calories or what ever we count to get us thru but not all apples are equal so that 60 or so calories is only a guide as are the scales amount calries/fat burnt going to gym. So long as we use this guide to lead us to better health not steer us to fatsville then we are on the right track.
Now self talk oh that is a biggie. Stupid fat cow-my favourite saying. Wow is it hard to actually self praise but SFC comes out so easy. You are doing great Felicity well done for going on that walk even if I do say these things to my self they are ususally followed by negitives, going on the walk last weekend 10k 2 hours well done for crossing all the barriers set out to stop you going-my foloow up was yeah but I still was last over finsih line-excuse my language and feel free to delete but so bloody what last or first I made the effort I got off my butt(was going to put fat lazy butt there) and drove 2 hours thru snow and did the walk and drove home again on my own no support from home, taking a round trip of 12 hours. I should be proud of myself I did it. The end nothing to follow no negitives. This will take time. I do sometimes catch myself smiling for no reason or singing to the radio and the other day I walked down the street with my head held high and an air of confidence and ‘hey look at me I am doing great’ about me.
Oops sort of got carried away here. any way good to have u back Fred.
Something I keep in mind to help with the scale-obsession issue:
Two men had the same height and weight: (can’t remember the actual numbers, but it was something like 6′2″ and 240 pounds)
Alan Hale, Jr. (Skipper on Gilligan’s Island)
and
Arnold Schwarzenagger
I think that pretty much says it all right there!
You must have read my mind today. Not 5 minutes before reading your entry, I was sitting on my bed and looking in the mirror, telling myself what a fat pig I am. Today was my weigh day too and I only lost 4 tenths of a pound again this week. And I had really put my all into it this past week, working hard at the gym and eating right. I try not to let the numbers get me down but when a loved one asks how I did this week, I feel like such a failure, even though I have been able to wear my clothes a little more comfortably this week. So your entry made me feel a little better and I thank you. Keep up the good work.
Boy, I really needed to be reminded to not obsess over the scale blips. My first goal is to get under 200 pounds. Today? The scale showed me a 199.5 for a second or two before bouncing up to 200.5. I’ve been pretty good over not letting the scale get to me, but this one had me fuming.
You always have the right thing to say and say it the way I need to hear it. I smell another book.
Fred
You know, quite conicidentally, right about the time you resurrected this site I too was putting my foot down. I need to re-lose about 15lbs as well. I can’t say for sure why I started re-gaining, just distracted I guess. Sooo, I was 146.4, and this morning I was 144.2. 132 would be nice again, I had gotten as low as 127 at a time, but it was tough to maintain. I’m a 40 year old woman, medium frame and 5′4 1/2. My primary love is running, which I’ve kicked up again. I’m also watching what is crossing into the piehole. It’s all a mind set and nothing more, so I’ve calmly told myself, “get a handle on this NOW or you can easily get back up to 169# or 187#” (my two highest weights in the last 12 years or so.) I offhandedly said something at work about needing to lose some weight again and I get the eyerolls, “you! you, don’t need to lose weight”. But, I do, or pretty soon it will be 25# or more. So, Fred I’ll be with you!
Woah. Your entry hit me hard. I do trash-talk myself a bit more than I should. I believe I am trying to say it before someone else says it. Or thinks it. I am trying to control things that shouldn’t take precendence over my lack of control in more important areas. Food for thought. (the healthy kind of course!)
Fred, I am SO glad you are writing here again. I know that I have never commented here before, but I just had to say “THANK YOU” for this post and for being so motivational, honest, straight forward, etc. Even though I am to the point where I realize everything you are saying, there are STILL days that I find it hard not to think negatively of myself. Like you said, we all do it. We all struggle with it. It really does help to have a reminder every now and then. THANK YOU!
Thanks, guys. It’s always good to hear when it’s helping someone.
Scales….screw em.
Initially when I lost my wirght I never knew my starting weight…I knew it was over 350 though because I got on the scale at my Dr’s office and they could not get my weight. I mean it didnt tetter on 350, it was pinned at the top so I assummed I was pushing 360 or so.
At the time I was doing this the old site (fatman) was up and would read daily, would read the archives if there were no updates. Years later I still have not scalled in on my own nor is there a scale in my house, scales in my mind are such a shitty barometer of how well you are doing. I went to the docs 3 weeks ago for my annual…I know I am under 200 now only because I saw the big weight at the bottom clicked into 150 and the little weight on the top far to the right…..nor do I care what my weight is…I feel fucking great!
Just wanted to let you know as well that I am glad to see the Onephatman back. Had a bugger of a time finding you after it went dark, and only recently found the other site. You were the inspiration to get me started on my weight loss, and although I ended up with an injury that had me gain a large part of my weight back I am finally rehabbed, and ready to go. Kind of funny that just in time this site comes back to assist in my motivation!
Fred,
I would like to reading some of the books by Tony Robbins, what would you recommend as a starting book?
O.K., while your recommending stuff, how about something on reading what I’m going to post before I actually post it. Because I’m a dork and can’t figure out how to edit my first post, I MEANT to say I would like to READ some of the books by Tony Robbins, what would you recommend as a starting book?
Cheri, my personal favorite is Awaken the Giant Within.